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• Boy, Can A Four Year Old Be Loud! Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning.
  As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Patty, apparently scared by the loud storm....
• I am the Terror that stays up late at night..
• My favourite was one I heard that someone at Boston University did to his roomate, who he hated.
  Late one night, while the roomate, a very sound sleeper, was asleep, this chap superglued his....
• Once upon a time there was a stork family - papa stock, mama stork and baby stork.
  One evening papa stork didn't show up for dinner....
• Last night I went home to my blonde girlfriend, and told her I was going to screw her brains out.
  Then I realized I was too late....
• One day a kid came home and yelled, "Ma, Ma, I had sex for the first time today!
  The mother was outraged and sent the kid upstairs to his room....
• RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
  ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....
• leeping --- I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
  Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
• Three college students shared an apartment. Every night one of the guys would go out and get drunk, come home at 2
  00 AM, and puke in the kitchen sink. The other two guys were getting plenty upset so they decided to play a joke on him....