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• ONCE UPON A TIME A POLOCK, AN AMERICAN, AND A GERMAN WERE GOING TO BE SHOT BY A FIRING SQUAD.
  WHEN THE AMERICAN WAS ABOUT TO BE SHOT HE SHOUTED OUT "TORNADO!...
• NEW SOFTWARE ANNOUNCEMENT PC WIFE for Dos and Windows For the truly lonely and scandalously ugly men with no chance of ever finding the real thing.
  NOTICE! This is not Freeware!...
• Once upon a time, a man was walking along the beach when he saw a beautiful girl who, sadly, had no legs.
  She was in her wheelchair bawling her eyes out. "What's wrong?...
• Once upon a time there was a little sperm. He lived with many thousands of other litter sperm, but this little sperm was different.
  He dreamed endlessly of the glorious day (or night, most likely) when he and his friends would be released to accomplish their great mission in life....
• Once upon a time, a tomb was found in Egypt. First a team of British arche- ologists went i
  hey came out after a week and announced, "This tomb is over 3000 years old....
• I work like I am paid, Very Little & Once a month
• Once upon a time, a woman complained to her doctor that she and her husband never had sex anymore.
  So the doctor gave her a bottle of pills and told her to put them in his drink and she would be 'satisfied....