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• This is true. It seems that a colleague and myself are scheduled to present a paper next month at an AI conference.
  We've never heard of the conference nor did we write a paper....
• How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end....
• Cromwell and Rasputin by as submitted to Dr.
  Richard King The following essay was an actual submission by a stu- dent, who was given the assignme...
• BE A KID AGAIN.... Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
  Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces Sing into your hairbrush Grow a milk mustache Smile back at the man in the moon Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away Dunk your cookies Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing Step carefully over sidewalk cracks Change into some play clothes Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich Have a staring contest with your cat Eat ice cream for breakfast Kiss a frog just in case Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck" Blow the wrapper off a straw Refuse to eat crusts Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no" Watch TV in your pajamas Ask "Why?...
• One sunday a drunk staggered into a church while Mass was going on.
  The priest couldn't help but notice him bumping into one pew after another as he made his way down the side aisle....
• A nativity scene can't be set up in front of the Birmingham, Mich.
  City Hall unless it's displayed with other secular symbols, a judge has ruled....
• Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff.
  Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets....