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• he dept administrator is somewhat of an msdos jock, and one day, he changed my adviser's rainbow prompt to be something like
  fatal disk error so everytime the return was pressed, this was displayed....
• YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
  it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Here's a listing of some rather interesting laws which were passed in the U.
  S. Taken from the Seattle P-I (Tuesday, Sep. 4 page B-9) with no permission whatsoever....
• HOW SPORTS FANS CAN OFFEND ALL PEOPLE EQUALLY: BOSTON CELTICS
  Show up for a St. Patrick's day game wearing orange....
• Proof By Intimidation ----- -- ------------ A Horse has an infinite number of legs.
  A horse has two legs in back and forelegs in front....
• THESE ARE ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS
  Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species....
• Have you ever noticed the similarities between some TV shows?
  The U.S.S. Enterprise The Love Boat --------------------- ------------- Bald Captain Bald Captain Young Wesley is related to a Young Vicki is related to a crewmember and works on the ship crewmember and works on the ship Ship's doctor is a main character Ship's doctor is a main character Troi, ship's counselor is sexy, Julie the cruise director is sexy, but annoying but annoying Actors stand in front of screen, Actors stand in front of screen, upon which is projected upon which is projected background background of open space of open sea A dumping ground for second-rate A dumping ground for second-rate washed-up guest stars washed-up guest stars Going to strange new worlds Going to strange new ports-of-call Cheesy opening song Cheesy opening song Too many scenes of self-indulgent Too many scenes of self-indulgent crap in the holodeck crap in the lounge Socially retarded character with Socially retarded character with job description for name (Data) job description for name (Gopher) In late-night syndication In late-night syndication Bad 2-hour pilot Bad 2-hour pilot Enterprise has shuttlecrafts and Love Boat has lifeboats and detaching saucer section flotation devices Scenes linked by ship shots Scenes linked by ship shots One character inexplicably One character inexplicably replaced then returned (Crusher) replaced, then returned (Julie) After-the-fact bed scenes with After-the-fact bed scenes with pointless discussion pointless discussion Captain straightens uniform when Captain straightens uniform when disgusted/angry/nervous disgusted/angry/nervous Final scene takes place on trans- Final scene takes place on loading porte...
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....