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• There was this guy who got a job selling toothbrushes.
  He set up his booth on a street corner, and the first week he sold 10 toothbrushes....
• Q: Do you know why Nancy Reagan is always on top? A: Because Ronnie only knows how to screw up.
• This is a true story. Last night I was in a minor accident on the highway.
  We both pulled off to the side and as soon as I smelled the other guy's breath it was obvious he had been smoking pot....
• How many Iraquis does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  - Two. One to screw it in, and one to screw it up....
• Little Johnnie was constantly telling stories & exaggerating.
  In desperation, his parents decided they'd try sending him off to sunday school....
• The first guy told them about their car, and wondered if he could possibly give them a hand.
  "Well, it's too d*amn late out, I s'pose you could stay the night here, on the grounds that you keep yer paws off my wife and daughter....
• How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  I don't know, but make my stipend tax-free, give my advisor a $...
• There were these 3 guys driving back to Toronto, Ontario who were visiting some friends in Terrace B.
  C. As they approached Red Deer, Alberta, their car all of a sudden broke down....
• This zoo had a female gorilla, but no male gorilla.
  This female gorilla was really getting horny and the zoo had no one to take care of her....