Related:

• What a Virus! If you receive an e-mail entitled "Badtimes", delete it immediately.
  Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty....
• Virus Alert... If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately.
  Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty....
• Finish your backup, and later on we can have Ice Cream!
• Odd that no-one mentioned the fun to be had with all the new and wonderful phone features available now.
  None of the below are truly destructive. Adjust gender as appropriate (women's lib be damned, I'm not going to type his/her, s/he every time)....
• Computer Dictionary 386: No, 486: Oops, Pentium: The only chip to consider if you're thinking of buying a PC.
  Until Intel ramps up the 686. 640K: The salary the average Wall Street PC analyst pulls in each year....
• YOU KNOW YOU NEED AN UPGRADE... when Microsoft tech support picks up the phone before Windows 95 finishes booting when you call tech support and they say your version of software has been obsolete for 5 years when that bright idea you had of pounding a 3-1/4" disk thin so it'll fit in the 5-1/4" slot didn't quite work when the bad blocks on your disk outnumber the good ones if your PC is big enough to use as an end table if it's so old that you can't even find a nonprofit organization that will take it as a donation when you can no longer find those special metallic cassette tapes when everyone's raving about hooking their computers up to the television and you'd never used any other kind of monitor hey
  I'm NOT upgrading my VIC 20, OK?!!! when your calculator has more RAM than your computer when your watch has more RAM than your computer when you realize that they don't use tapes anymore when it takes a Chevy pickup to haul your disk drive away when you're getting bored of those stupid Atari games like Frogger when your computer doesn't give you "nice" system errors like "Bad Command or file name" and instead formats your hard drive when you're getting tired of typing in ones and zeros when your abacus gets termites when "Solitaire" only has enough memory to use half the deck when you get the error message "Don't open so many goddam Windows at once!...
• 1999 DARWIN AWARDS Yes, folks, it's time again for the 1999 Darwin Awards.
  For those sheltered few of you who are not fully aware of the Darwin Award...
• Signs That You May Be Canadian... ** You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine" ** You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
  ** You drink pop, not soda. ** This doesn't bother you at all....
• This guy, see, was walkin' down the street sportin' two -- not one, but two -- black eye
  a coupla real shiners. He chanced upon his buddy walkin' th' other way and they stopped to talk....