Related:

• If I were two faced, would I wear this one?
• Square sun, square moon, square screen.
• Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
  A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys....
• Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
• Two condoms were walking along the street, when they passed a gay bar.
  The first said to the second: "Want to go in and get shit-faced?...
• Q: What is a mathematician's pick when faced with the choice between poutine and eternal bliss in the afterlife?
  A: Poutine! Because nothing is better than eternal bliss in the afterlife, and poutine is better than nothing....
• The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.
  I forget where the sun joins in this fight....
• The Rev. Sun Myung Moon, sent to prison, is working a kitchen shift.
  So if he wasn't in a mess before, he is now....
• A nun joke in which not a single nun gets fucked (amazing isn't it?
  ): A pale-faced nun, apparently in shock, enters the office of the old mother superior and reports very shyly, almost blushing...