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• HOW FAT WAS SHE????? 1) She was so fat that I had to run her down 'cause I didn't think I had enough gas to drive around her.
  2) She was so fat, we would take her to MacDonalds to watch the numbers change....
• 55 "Snyder's got a stiff ticket," said Kay, "Come on, take it out, and let's play.
  He pulled it on out, But she started to pout, His ticket was only a quarter-inch stout....
• From ph@uowcsa.oz.au Mon Dec 12 20:53:34 1988 Flag
  000000000000 From: ph@uowcsa.oz.au (Phillip Herring) Subjec...
• TOP 118 REASONS WHY IT'S ACCEPTABLE TO DATE A NERD 1) His shoelaces are hardly ever untied 2) Doesn't pick his nose in public 3) Has never put a red shirt in with the whites 4) Was not directly responsible for the Holocaust 5) When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building
  he doesn't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor 6) Elvis is dead and Bob Saget is married...
• Words To Live By... Notice! Take lettuce from the top of the stack, or heads will roll!
  Well, if Jerry Springer isn't educational TV, why does it make me feel so much smarter?...
• NEWS FLASH - Men And Women Are NOT Alike Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...
• leeping --- I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
  Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
• There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend.
  Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant....
• Q: What was Corazon Aquino's happiest hour? A: When she found out she had Imelda Marcos' shoe size.