History has the relation to truth that theology has to
religion - i.e. none to speak of.
-- Lazarus Long
"If God wanted us to have a president, He would have sent us a candidate."
-- Jerry Dreshfield
"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought that you
didn't believe in God?"
"I don't," she sobbed, bursting into tears, "but the God I don't
believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the
mean and stupid God you make him out to be."
-- Joseph Heller
"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a
good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious
scruples and the police."
-- Mr. Dooley
religion - i.e. none to speak of.
-- Lazarus Long
"If God wanted us to have a president, He would have sent us a candidate."
-- Jerry Dreshfield
"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought that you
didn't believe in God?"
"I don't," she sobbed, bursting into tears, "but the God I don't
believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the
mean and stupid God you make him out to be."
-- Joseph Heller
"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a
good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious
scruples and the police."
-- Mr. Dooley
Related:
- Letters to God from children"
Dear God,
In Sunday School they told us what You do.
Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane ... - CHILDREN SPEAK TO GOD
Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do.
Who does it when You are on vacation? ... - Writing Contest
FROM AN ACTUAL NEWSPAPER CONTEST WHERE
ENTRANTS AGE 4 TO 15 WERE ASKED TO
IMITATE "DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY":
My young brother asked me what happens after we die... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt... - Classic Quotes
"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was,
You'll never find anyone like me again. I'm thinking... - Federal Aviation Agency,
Washington 25, D.C.
Gentlemen:
I was asked to make a written statement concerning... - God came down to the Pope and said to him, "JP, you have been a good pope
and so I am going to reward you with three wishes."
Stunned,
the Pope said, "First of all, I would like the world... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah... - A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane...
