Now Is Your Chance To Have Your Ears Pierced And Get An Extra Pair To Take Home, Too.

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• Classified Ad Mistakes The following are actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers.
  Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service....
• As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strip
  -Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered....
• As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strip
  -Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered....
• Signs that your cat is hanging around with the wrong crowd
  * One day, without your permission, he gets his ears pierced....
• You have to read the whole thing: The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life.
  1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time....
• THE IRS LETTER... Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1996 Federal Tax return.
  Thank you. I have questioned whether these are my children or not for years....
• How to know whether or not you are ready to have kid
  - Mess Test Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains....
• A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man....
• YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN -- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
  -- You ski uphill. -- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked....