Signs That Your Cat Is Hanging Around With The Wrong Crowd

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Signs that your cat is hanging around with the wrong crowd:

* One day, without your permission, he gets his ears pierced.
* Your credit card is overcharged, mainly for "9-Lives",
* You find attached to the refrigerator a note that reads:
"Leave a steak on the front porch at midnight, or you'll
never see Spot again".
* Too many times a week your cat comes home after one in the
morning, totally plastered and with a strong odour of catnip
about him.
* You come home to catch him in the act of raiding your liquor cabinet.
* Several hundred dollars' worth of phone calls appear on your phone
bill to "1-900-PUSSYCAT-MEOW"
* You find out that the lifetime's supply of cat food wasn't a
prize from "Kitten's Life" magazine, but that your cat has been
selling drugs in the neighbourhood
* After failing to get your attention with constant meows and by
rubbing up against your leg, your cat pulls out his Magnum-44 and
aims it at you, demanding "Friskies" and catnip.