Just To Keep The Record Straight, What Is Called A Heatwave In The Northeast Is Called Regular Old Summer In The Midwest.

Related:

• Straight Out Of The Eighties... This will only make sense to those of us who had the dubious distinction of being children of the eighties, or listened to music on a regular basis.
  If you were "there", then you will understand.... I was working part time in a five and dime....
• A little withered old man walks into a timber company office, and applies for a job as a lumberjack.
  The foreman politely tries to talk him out of the idea....
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
• Best T-shirts of The Summer ** (around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won ** So Few Me
  So Few Who Can Afford Me ** I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy ** God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends ** If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going ** At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All....
• SPOKE NOW, OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PACE Sometimes, when I’m scouting up ahead for The March, I discover more than I wanted to know.
  My job: to burden you with this information, so we all come away from The March with a surplus of wit & wisdom....
• I've got a mind like a... a... what's that thing called?
• What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called? Turkey feathe
• What do the initials PLO stand for? Push Leon Overboard Heard about the new drink called a Klinghoffer?
  Two shots and a splash. ŠWhy didn't Leon Klinghoffer take a shower the night before the hijacking He figured he'd wash up on the beach....