Related:

• We admit we looked at the nude photos of Miss America.
  In fact, to reach the proper level of disgust we had to look at them several times....
• EEKING OUT A LIVING IN RADIOACTIVE SHOES Come now, don’t any of you baby boomers remember having your childhood feet x-rayed at the shoe store?
  It was right about the time we were being stuffed with megadoses of penicillin no matter what the wheezy etiology, and ducking for cover under one-armed elementary school desks in mock nuclear bomb attacks....
• If you want the truth, all this controversy about whether there should be leaded gasoline exhausts us.
• I'm glad we don't get all the government we pay for.
• You'd think the least "Penthouse" magazine could do is donate profits from its September issue to the Miss America scholarship fund.
• We have a new Miss America, though she'll get to serve barely a month.
  Uh, let us rephrase that......
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• Everyday Miss Nun would ride from the convent into town to the market.
  And as it happens one very persistent cop on a bike (Jan van der Merwe) would let her pull over to the side of the road and administer a drunken- ness test (breath-a-lyzer test) on Miss Nun....
• NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike. Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...