Related:

• Gerry Ferraro says she considers herself a fiscal conservative.
  Similarly, Ronald Reagan once considered himself an actor....
• Gerry Ferraro says she and Fritz Mondale will prove the experts wrong. Not much of a challenge.
• Our record is strong on women's issues," says George Bush.
  And Aunt Ilse agrees. She says she can smell it all the way up in Oelwein....
• American history is about doors being opened," says Gerry Ferraro.
  And sometimes about finding skeletons in the closets behind them....
• There are no doors we cannot unlock," says Gerry Ferraro.
  What will this administration do? Hire car thieves?...
• American women come in all colors," says Gerry Ferraro.
  So does their hair, including some shades not found in nature....
• Gerry Ferraro says we don't need government on our backs "but on every citizen's side.
  These metaphors are getting under foot....
• Gerry Ferraro says voters face a "stark choice" in November.
  Right. Stay home and be apathetic or go to the polls and be reluctant....
• Our second idea for a new company would rid your back yard of especially nasty kids.
  Its name? Grossbusters. Imagine how Gerry Ferraro's mother feels....