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• Mother Said: PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man.
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• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
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• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• THE IRS LETTER... Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1996 Federal Tax return.
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• Investigative reporters have been slipshod about John Zaccaro.
  They've probed his finances but so far haven't turned up his favorite recipe....
• Still, you've got to feel good about a country in which the official starts of its presidential campaign and its Christmas shopping season coincide.