Related:

• Reading "bleep" quotes in the paper from baseball umpires makes us see more clearly why they're called the men in blue.
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• Press Release From Sony: Tokyo, Japan, March 31st - Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio.
  Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows and DOS systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been-until now-an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony....
• REASONS TO HATE COMPUTERS They cost too much. They break down all the time.
  They're too hard to fix. All the different brands are incompatible....
• Tips from Secretaries to Managers: Enhancing the Relationship 1.
  Whenever possible, please keep us late. We have no homes to go to and are only too thankful to spend the evening here....
• Dear Son, I am writing this slow, 'cause I know you can't read fast.
  There are a few things happening here at home. We don't live where we did when you left -- you're father read in the paper that most car accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved....
• We all have our opinions, but mine is correct.
• HIS AND HIRSUTISM Hair. Heads up, my fellow male Marchers.
  Get ready to temporarily ride the new permanent wave, as yet another panacea for male pattern baldness heads for the marketplace....