Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics: Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.
Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results....
Klipstein's Law: You never find a lost article until you replace it.
Glatum's Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness: The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.
Lewis' Law: No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The Airplane Law: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
Etorre's Observation: The other line always moves faster.
Etorre's Ovservation: The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.
Hawkin's Theory of Progress: Progress does not consist of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is right.
It consists of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is more subtly wrong....
Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.