Related:

• RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
  ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....
• HOW FAT WAS SHE????? 1) She was so fat that I had to run her down 'cause I didn't think I had enough gas to drive around her.
  2) She was so fat, we would take her to MacDonalds to watch the numbers change....
• A girl was in the shower she saw her mom's tits, and she asked when she would get some like hers.
  The mom replied that when she was 16, she would get tits....
• ores --- I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
  I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?...
• This guy's sister wus soooo ugly... Well, how ugly wuz she?
  She wuz soooo ugly even the tide wouldn't take her out....
• Sometimes you just have to wonder... I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
  I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy....
• Gladys: so ugly she had 11-foot pole marks all ove
• RETIREMENT -- FROM A CHILD'S VIEWPOINT After a Spring Break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holidays.
  One small child wrote the following: We always used to spend holidays with Grandpa and Grandma....
• She's so fat that when she sings, it's over.