Ores --- I Went To A General Store. They Wouldn't Let Me Buy Anything Specifically.
Jokes from Emails
--- stores ---
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked
me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The
clerk said, "ten-four."
I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet
supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that
said "compact cars".
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got
there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the
sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They
ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything
I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra
I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale.
She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone
bought anything today.
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and
I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday.
Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to
the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a
different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Here are my categories, with examples (his): ENGLISH
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out....
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.
The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here....
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
Sometimes you just have to wonder... I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy....
RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....
What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
Straight Out Of The Eighties... This will only make sense to those of us who had the dubious distinction of being children of the eighties, or listened to music on a regular basis.
If you were "there", then you will understand.... I was working part time in a five and dime....
Federal Aviation Agency, Washington 25, D.C. Gentleme
I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....