The Tent Revival Was In Its Fifth Long Night, And Religious Fervor Was At A Peak When The Normally Taciturn Farmer John Jumped Up And Ran Down The Aisle

The Tent Revival Was In Its Fifth Long Night, And Religious Fervor Was At A Peak When The Normally Taciturn Farmer John Jumped Up And Ran Down The Aisle

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The tent revival was in its fifth long night, and religious fervor was at a
peak when the normally taciturn Farmer John jumped up and ran down the aisle,
sobbing and with tears streaming down his face. The preacher met him with
outstretched hand and John bawled, "Preacher, I been a sinner!" "Tell it all,
John!" hollered the preacher, to the congregation's delight. "I been doin'
terrible things, Preacher," said John, and the congregation AMENed loudly.
"Drinkin' and everything ... I even cheated on my taxes!" "Tell it all,
John!" the preacher bellowed even louder, gripping the penitent John about
the shoulders. With the congregation providing loud vocal support, John
continued to recite his sins. "I been having ... you know, sex fantasies,"
he said, and the congregation swooned with a loud AMEN, and the preacher
hoarsely repeated his demand. Emboldened, John went on, "... and I been
visitin' the cathouse over in Hog Holler..." And with each revelation, the
murmuring excitement of the crowd got louder, and the preacher's exhorta-
tions grew more insistent that John `tell it all!' Caught up in the frenzy,
and the approval of his audience, John hollered, "... and I been screwin' my
mule!" There was instant and absolute silence in the tent. No one even
coughed, as John blinked and looked about in bewilderment. The preacher
leaned close to the confessor's ear and whispered, "Damn if I'da tol' that,
John ..."

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