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• Greetings. Must tell you about my uncle Bill who went to Hollywood to get a job in the movies.
  Bill finally got his big break and was chosen to play a part in a western....
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• An elderly woman walked into the main branch of the Chase Manhatten Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand.
  She told the young man at the window that she wished to take the $...
• ROMAN CATHOLICS Two leprechauns went up to a convent and knocked on the door.
  When the sister answered, one of the leprechauns said, "Sister, do you have any leprechaun nuns here?...
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• The IRS can always find more... The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $
  1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• A woman is nearly caught with her lover when her husband comes home early.
  To hide her lover, she puts him in the closet. While in the closet, the lover soon learns that he is not alone....