An elderly woman walked into the main branch of the Chase Manhatten Bank
holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the window
that she wished to take the $3,000,000 she had in the bag and open an
account with the bank. She said that first, however, she wished to meet
the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to the large amount of money
involved. The teller seemed to think that was a reasonable request and,
after opening the paper bag and seeing bundles of $1,000 bills which
amounted to right around three million, telephoned the bank president's
secretary to obtain an appointment for the woman. The woman was escorted
upstairs and ushered into the president's office. Introductions were made
and she stated that she would like to get to know the people she did busi-
ness with on a more personal level. The bank president then asked her how
she came into such a large sum of money. "Was it an inheritance?" he asked.
"No," she replied. "Was it from playing the stock market?" he inquired.
"No," she answered. He was quiet for a minute, trying to think of where
this elderly woman could have come into three million dollars. "I bet,"
she stated. "As in horses?" he asked. "No," she replied, "I bet people."
Seeing his confusion, she explained that she just bet on different things
with people. All of a sudden she said, "I'll bet you $25,000 that 10 o'clock
tomorrow morning your balls will be square." The bank president figured she
must be off her rocker and decided to take her up on the bet. He didn't know
how he could lose. For the rest of the day he was very careful - he didn't
even have the traditional nooner with his secretary. He decided to stay home
that evening and take no chances; there was $25,000 at stake. When he got up
in the morning and took his shower, he checked to make sure everything was
okay. There was no change in his crotchal appearance. He looked the same as
he always had. He went to work and waited for the old lady to come in at
10 o'clock, humming as he went. He know this would be a lucky day - how often
did he get handed $25,000 for doing nothing? At 10 o'clock sharp, the woman
was shown into his office. With her was a man. When the bank president asked
what the other man was doing in the office, she informed him that he was her
lawyer and she took him along when there was this much money involved.
"Well," she asked, "what about our bet?" "I don't know how to tell you this,"
he laughed, "but I'm the same as I've always been - only $25,000 richer."
The lady seemed to accept this, but requested that she be able to see for
herself. The president thought this was reasonable and dropped his trousers.
She instructed him to bend over and then grabbed a hold of him. Sure enough,
everything was fine. His balls were not square. The president then looked up
and saw her lawyer standing across the room banging his head against the
wall. "What's wrong with him?" he inquired. "Oh, him," she answered, "I bet
him $100,000 that by 11 o'clock this morning I'd have the president of Chase
Manhattan Bank by the balls."