Greetings. Must tell you about my uncle Bill who went to Hollywood to get a job in the movies.

Greetings. Must tell you about my uncle Bill who went to
Hollywood to get a job in the movies. Bill finally got his big break
and was chosen to play a part in a western. When casting interviewed
him they asked "which part do you think you are best suited for?"
Of course uncle Bill replied "Just give me a small bit and a steer to
star by!"
There was this guy who picked up this chick at a dance.
After they danced, the guy said
"I'd take you to my house, but my parents are home."
The woman replied
"I'd let you go to my house, except my BOYFRIEND is there!"
The dude suggested that they go to his van instead.
The chick agreed and they went to the van; they both
took off their clothes, and at the point where the man
was about to enter her, the woman exclaimed
"What, no foreplay?! How about going outside and look for
a stick, and you could beat me with it!"
So the man went outside, but couldn't find any sticks. So instead
he busted the aerial off his van, and the guy and girl beat
each other on the back and they had a gay old time. The next
morning, however, the man was feeling aweful sore on the back.
He went to his doctor, who exclaimed:
"This is the worst case of Van-Aerial disease I've ever seen!"