Related:

• Before I Went To College I Wish I Had Known: That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class, I'd sleep through it anyway.
  That I could change so much and barely realize it....
• BEFORE I CAME TO COLLEGE I WISH I HAD KNOWN... - that it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class I'd sleep right through it - that I would change so much and barely realize it - that you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways - that college kids throw airplane
  oo - that if you wear polyester everyone will ask you why you're so dressed up - that every clock on campus shows a different time - that if you were smart in high school - so what?...
• If Men Really Ruled The World... · Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
  · Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you....
• If men had it their way: Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
  Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you....
• GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS... ** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problem...
• Because I'm A Man... ** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
  ** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at....
• Most language is spoken language, and most words, once they are uttered, vanish forever into the air.
  But such is not the case with language spoken during courtroom trials, for there exists an army of courtroom reporters whose job it is to take down and preserve every statement made during the proceedings....
• If Men Really Ruled ** Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
  ** Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I Love You"....
• I think Santa Claus is a woman.... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
  Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!...