Because I'm A Man... ** Because I'm A Man, When I Lock My Keys In The Car I Will Fiddle With A Wire Clothes Hanger And Ignore Your Suggestions That We Call A Road Service Until Long After Hypothermia Has Set In.

HomeShort JokesJokes from Emails

Because I'm A Man...
** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service
until long after hypothermia has set in.
** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another
man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix
these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
know where to start."We will then drink beer.
** Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I
do, so for you this isn't an issue.
** Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist
on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as
much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
** Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
** Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't
think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete
stranger. I mean, how the heck could he know where we're going?
** Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always either sex or food, though I have to make up something
else when you ask,so don't.
** Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any
more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom, too!
** Because I'm a man, I am capable of announcing, "One more beer and I
really have to go", and mean it every single time I say it, even when it
gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go
hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals
call you to tell you I'll be home soon, and no, I don't understand why you
threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like, what's the connection?
** Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
** Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look
fine. Can we just go now?
** Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the 21st Century, I will share
equally in the housework? You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.