If Men Really Ruled
** Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your
call to her real number.
** Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response
to "I Love You".
** Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards
** When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she
would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
** Birth control would come in ale or lager.
** Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of
your choice.
** The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
"Sorry I'm late, but I got hammered last night" would be an acceptable
excuse for tardiness.
** Instead of a beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
** Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your
wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
** Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur
in leap years.
** On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go
drinking. Mother's Day, too. St. Patrick's Day, however would remain exactly
the same, but would be celebrated every month.
** The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night
Football From A Different Camera Angle.
** Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.
** Faucets would run "Hot,' "Cold," and "100 proof".
** The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red, 40-foot thong.
** People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
** Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.
** Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
** Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your
call to her real number.
** Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response
to "I Love You".
** Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards
** When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she
would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
** Birth control would come in ale or lager.
** Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of
your choice.
** The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
"Sorry I'm late, but I got hammered last night" would be an acceptable
excuse for tardiness.
** Instead of a beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
** Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your
wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
** Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur
in leap years.
** On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go
drinking. Mother's Day, too. St. Patrick's Day, however would remain exactly
the same, but would be celebrated every month.
** The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night
Football From A Different Camera Angle.
** Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.
** Faucets would run "Hot,' "Cold," and "100 proof".
** The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red, 40-foot thong.
** People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
** Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.
** Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
Related:
- If Men Really Ruled The World...
· Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your
call to her real number.
· Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed... - If men had it their way:
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call
to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate
eats meat.
Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie... - What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw:
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can... - If AOL were a City
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
You'd live in a place where no two people had the same... - If AOL were a City:
- You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name,
and all were h0t 17/f cheerleaders with a fetish for... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend...
