Related:

• STAY ALERT!TRUST NO ONE!KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY.
• Witty Words of Wisdom: Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
  Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them....
• If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!
• Actual Doctors' Notes On Patient's Charts: ** Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year ** On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
  ** She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night....
• Virus Alert... If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately.
  Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty....
• Q: What's the difference between chicken and meat? A: If you beat your chicken it would die
• Animals are your friends. But they won't drive you home.
• What goes "Gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-GA!"? A baby with a speech impetiment (sp?
  ). >What's gross? >Running over a baby. >What's grosser than gross?...
• I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?