Related:

• A man was very shy, and couldn't speak to more than two people at a time without getting nervous.
  His boss and wife both suggested that he take an Andrew Carnegie course....
• Tell your loved ones how much you DO love them..
• A DRUNK WAS STAGGERING DOWN THE STREET WITH A BOX UNDER EACH ARM.
  A POLICEMAN STOPS THE DRUNK AND ASKS: "EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THOSE BOXES UNDER YOUR ARMS?...
• Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out)....
• How many investment brokers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  1) MY GOD!! IT BURNT OUT!! SELL ALL MY G.E. STOCK NOW!...
• Case: The Novice. The guy who's taken up a new hobby, killing.
  The one listening to all the stories, asking what's best for killing the big bucks (and buck's)....
• Q: How can you spot Dolly Pardon's children in a crowd?
  A: They're the ones with the stretch marks on their lips....
• I saw in today's paper that skirts are getting shorter and shorter.
  If so, it will echo the '60s. First there were miniskirts, then microskirts....
• What do you call a 12 year old virgin in Tennessee?
  -- A girl who can out run her brother. How can you tell a redneck family?...