I Remember One Good Line From The Three Stooges Where Moe, Talking About Some Famous Pianist, Say "This Man Is The Best Pianist In The Country!

Related:

• Let's say you were trapped inside this room. Inside this room were 2 doors, and 2 caged talking - tigers.
  One of the doors was an exit into the paradise. The other was an exit into a bottomless pit- (In other words, if you opened this door, you'd fall until your insides get ripped apart by the G-forces- actually you'd still fall- Anyway....
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• Some guys are trading increadible stories in a bar when one of them pulls a miniature grand piano out of his pocket and sets it down on the bar.
  Next he produces a little man about a foot high from his other pocket and sets him down on the bar....
• A man was very shy, and couldn't speak to more than two people at a time without getting nervous.
  His boss and wife both suggested that he take an Andrew Carnegie course....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography).
  .. I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....