Related:

• There were three dogs sitting at the pound and each had an interesting story about why they were there and what they thought would happen to them.
  Pit-Bull: The family next door had a nine month old baby and it was always crying - crying so much it was driving its parents crazy, driving my owner crazy, driving ME crazy - everyone!...
• There were two identical twin brothers by the name of Jones.
  John was married but Joe, the other brother was single and the owner of a small delapidated boat....
• Guy is in a bar and he sees a couple of women. One is absolutely stunning and the other one is just a dog.
  As he is eyeing the foxy chick and getting nowhere her friend walks up to him....
• Did you hear about Bill and Joe, the twin brothers?
  Bill was married and Joe was single. The single brother, Joe, was the proud owner of a dilapidated old row boat....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• A 5-year-old girl gets a kitten for her birthday. Soon thereafter, the Mom, while getting into the car slams the door on the kitten, killing it in front of her daughter.
  Mom explains that "this is life", accidents happen, we learn from our mistakes, and so on....
• When I was taking a 300 level computer science class in college there was a girl in the class that was a good friend of mine
  he was one of those people that was accademiclly briliant with zero common scence....
• Straight Out Of The Eighties... This will only make sense to those of us who had the dubious distinction of being children of the eighties, or listened to music on a regular basis.
  If you were "there", then you will understand.... I was working part time in a five and dime....
• A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in 'Vegas.
  She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck!...