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• Q: How do you tell the age of a dead baby? A: Cut off its head and count the rings.
• How do you determine the sex of a computer?
• Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?
• 5000 years ago Moses said, "Pack up you camel, pick up your shovel, mount your ass, and I will lead you to the promised land.
  5000 years later, F. D. Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass and light up a camel, this is the promised land....
• Murphy's Laws On Love and Sex The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
  Nothing improves with age. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again....
• Two Polacks are drving along in their truck when the y see a pig by the side of the road.
  Well, this is pretty unusual, so they stop for a look....
• How can you tell if an Ethiopian woman is pregnant?
  Hold her up to the light. What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?...
• CHOCOLATE By John Scalzi Chocolate is God's way of reminding men how inadequate they are.
  I am vividly confronted with this fact every time my wife and I go out to a restaurant....