Well, Here It Is Sunday Evening Again And You've Probably All Read, Reread, And Pretty Well Exhausted The Info In Your Church Bulletin By Now .

Well, here it is Sunday evening again and you've probably all read, reread,
and pretty well exhausted the info in your Church bulletin by now ... Real
exciting stuff, eh? Yeah, ours generally is too. But sometimes ...

"This afternoon there will be meetings in the south and
north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at
both ends."

"Tuesday at 4:00pm, there will be an Ice Cream Social. All
ladies giving milk please come early."

"Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs.
Johnson will sing, 'Put Me in My Little Bed,' accompanied
by the Pastor."

"Thursdays at 5:00 pm, there will be a meeting of the
Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers
will please meet with the minister in his study."

"This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Borwn to come
forward and lay an egg on the altar."

"The service will close with 'Little Drops of Water,' one
of the men will start quietly and the rest of the congre-
gation will join in."

"The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every
kind and they can be seen in the church basement on Friday
afternoon."

"On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray
the expense on the new carpet. All wishing to do some-
thing on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece
of paper."

<These are all *actually* factual!>