Related:

• Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, you've got it again. ==
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• The doctor told his patient "I have bad news and worse news for you, what do you want to hear first?
  The patient replied, "What's the bad news?" The doctor said, "Your tests have come back and we've determined that you only have two days to live....
• During a routine physical, a doctor tells his patient to drop his pants.
  After the exam, the doctor says to the man, "You have the filthiest balls I've ever seen!...
• Doctor: I have some good news and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?
  Patient: Do begin with the bad news, please. Docto...
• Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
  Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first....
• Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, and I keep losing my temper with people.
  Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!...
• Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
  Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patie...
• Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, don't do that. ==