A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it
to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted
that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my
lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on
one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid
back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the
physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief
on either side, and I thought I'd check out the same way."
to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted
that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my
lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on
one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid
back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the
physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief
on either side, and I thought I'd check out the same way."
Related:
- The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history:
"Only the future is certain; the past is always changing"... - A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and
tried striking up a conversation .
"Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies... - My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole
package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's... - This guy, see, was walkin' down the street sportin' two -
not one, but two -- black eyes; a coupla real shiners... - Unknown
A man stoped at a traffic light in his brand new Rolls Royce.
A bright red Porsche pulls up beside him, rolled... - Syadov walks into the Moscow health clinic and asks to see an
ear-and-eye doctor.
The nurse explains to him that there isn't a specialist... - RACIAL/ETHNIC
There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish. ... - A guy went hunting for duck. He was out hunting for an entire week and
never managed to shoot a duck.
On his way driving back to the big city he happened... - The IRS can always find more...
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around
that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice...
From the same category:
- Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand... - A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer were all caught in a shipwreck.
Naturally, there are a lot of sharks circling around... - A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop
and steals a roast.
Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog... - What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand... - Hildago was defeated at Guadalajara. The rebel army
was captured on is way through the mountains.
All were courtmartialed and shot, except Hildago...
