Tips on love. (All questions were answered by kids age 5 to 10)
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Eighty-four, because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you
can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tom, 5)
** WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 9)
** WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big
ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding."
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if
anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with
a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)
** THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to
clean up after them." (Lynette, 9)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't
need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)
** CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how
you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the
rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)
** ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to
do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7)
** ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it
doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me, I'm handsome like anything
and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time."
** CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good
money for them." (Dave, 8)
** CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on
television." (Anita, 6)
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been
trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me."
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough."
** SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention,
but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes
to eat. French fries usually work for me." (Bart, 9)
** HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in
love." (John, 9)
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold.
Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like
to order those because it's just like how their hearts are on fire."
** WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU"
"The person is thinking, Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers
at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...