Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God to Man: "So you would love her."
"But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God replies: "So she would love you."
God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before
creating a masterpiece.
Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women
complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such
thing as a good man.
Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
What's the difference between government bonds and men?
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Why do men like BMWs?
They can spell it.
What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 10,000
miles, whichever came first.
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.