Men Are Like... 1. Men Are Like Department Stores..

Men Are Like...
1. Men are like department stores....
their clothes should always be half off.
2. Men are like vacations....
they never seem to be long enough.
3. Men are like computers...
hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
4. Men are like coolers...
load them with beer and you can take them anywhere
5. Men are like chocolate bars....
sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like coffee....
the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
7. Men are like horoscopes....
they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
8. Men are like plungers...
they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
9. Men are like cement....
after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
10. Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They irritate the shit out of you
11. Q: Why did God create man?
A: Because vibrators don't mow lawns
12. Q: What are two reasons men don't mind their own business?
A: No mind-No business
13. Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are taken and what's left is handicapped
14. Q: Why is it hard for a women to find men who are sensitive, caring and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends
15. Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long
it will last
16. Q: Why are men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they don't hump women's legs at cocktail parties
17. Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A: Because they're all pigs
18. Q: What do men and linoleum floors have in common?
A: If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for 30
years.