Actual Signs ** In the front yard of a funeral home,

Actual Signs
** In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
** On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."
** Outside a radiator repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak."
** In a non-smoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on
fire and take appropriate action."
** On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."
** On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the
dog."
** At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
** On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."
** On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
** On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
** At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car
payment."
** Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you
coming."
** In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your pants here."
** On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd
one just left."
** In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
** At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your bill.
However, if you don't, you will be."
** In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"
** On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what
you've got." (Burglars please copy.)
** In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get
fed up."
** Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
** In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can
eat any place they want."
** On a shoe makers shop, " I can save your soles and I'm willing to dye for
you."