Signs Of Life.... Maternity Clothes Shop: We Are Open On Labor Day Non-smoking Area

HomeShort JokesJokes from Emails

Signs of life....
Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day
Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on
fire and take appropriate action
On Maternity Room Door: "Push,Push,Push"
On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except
the dog
Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place
Scientist's Door: Gone Fission
Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff
Podiatrist's Window: Time wounds all heels
Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs
Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition
Sign on Fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive"
Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car
Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming
Hotel: "Help!" We need inn - experienced people
Butcher's Window: Pleased to meat you
Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
Sign in an office: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one
just left
Veterinarians Waiting Room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
Music Teacher's Door: "Out Chopin"
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in
your bill. However, if you don't, you will be"
Beauty Shop: Dye now!
Garbage Truck: We've got what it takes to take what you've got
Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte"
Restaurant Window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and
get fed up
Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop
Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can
eat any place they want
Music Library: Bach in a minuet
Funeral Home: Drive carefully, we'll wait
General Conference: Welcome! We're generally in conference.