Amazing it got done in six days
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Quickly, God was
faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. God was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was
stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly part.
Then God said, "Let there be light!" Immediately, the officials demanded to
know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about
thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a large ball
of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that
no smoke would result from the ball of fire, and that he would obtain a
building permit and to conserve energy, He would have the light out half the
time. God agreed and offered to call the light "Day" and the darkness
"Night". The officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.
God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, plant yielding seed, and
fruit trees bearing fruit." The EPA agreed, so long as only native seed was
used.
Then God said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and
let birds fly above the earth." The officials pointed out that this would
require approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly
Wildlife Federation and the Audobon Society. Everything was okay until God
said the project would be completed in six days. The officials said it would
take at least two hundred days to review the applications and the impact
statement. After that there would be a public hearing. Then there would be
ten to twelve months before...
At this point God created Hell.
