Related:

• A spaceship from the planet Zong lands in Farmborough.
  It is the middle of the night - the town is deserted (not that there's much happening in the daytime in Farmborough) as the aliens (who are rather petrol - pump - like in their appearance) descend from their ship....
• If The Airlines Sold Paint Customer (CU): Hi, how much is your paint?
  Clerk (CL): Well, sir, that all depends. CU: Depends on what?...
• 5000 years ago Moses said, "Pack up you camel, pick up your shovel, mount your ass, and I will lead you to the promised land.
  5000 years later, F. D. Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass and light up a camel, this is the promised land....
• Typical Blonde A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country fligh
  and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her....
• A nun is driving her (well, the convent's) car through some very lonely countryside.
  The car stops and she notices there is no petrol left....
• I was driving through North Wales one day last summer, when I had the misfortune to run out of petrol right out in the sticks.
  It was about 5 miles to the nearest house, but when I got there the farmer who lived in it was very hospitable and offered to drive me back to my car with a can of petrol, as long as I stayed to have a bite to eat first....
• A bear walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve no beer to no bears in this bar.
  The bear asks again and is again told, "We don't serve no beer to no bears in this bar....
• HIS AND HIRSUTISM Hair. Heads up, my fellow male Marchers.
  Get ready to temporarily ride the new permanent wave, as yet another panacea for male pattern baldness heads for the marketplace....