Yrneh Etac IV - No such process
(novax!nowhere!etac4) OR (etac4@nowhere)
I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business
on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment
he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual
becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
-- George Bernard Shaw
From etac0@nowhere Sun Nov 18 01:37:50 1990
From: etac0@nowhere (Yrneh Etac Broken pipe - Interrupted system call)
Subject: Funky stuff - part 147
Many have experienced the confusion of traffic accidents and have
had to summerize correctly what happened in a few words or less
on insurance or accident forms. The following quotes were taken
>from those forms and were eventually published in the Toronto Sun
1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a
tree I don't have.
2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of
3) I though my window was down, but I found out it was up when I
put my hand through it.
4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7) The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of
times before I hit him.
8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way
home, as I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up,
obscuring my vision.
11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the
wheel and had an accident.
12) I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble, when my
universal joints gave way, causing me to have an accident.
13) As I approched the intersection, a stop sign suddenly
appeared to stop in time to avoid the accient.
14) To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the
15) My car was legally parked as it backed into the other
16) An Invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and
17) I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my
hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.
18) I was sure the old fellow would not make it to the other side
of the street when I struck him.
19) The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over
20) I saw the slow moving, sad faced gentleman as he bounced off
the hood of my car.
21) I was thrown from my car as it left the road, I was later
found in a ditch by some stray cows.
22) The telephone pole was approching fast, I attempted to swerve
out of it's way, when it struck the front of my car.