Humor, Pedestrian And Otherwise Confused By Traffic Accidents?
Humor, pedestrian and otherwise
Confused by traffic accidents?
The following are excerpts from a Toronto insurance company's
records of drivers' descriptions of their experiences:
1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided
with a tree I don't have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of
3. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I
put my hand through it.
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number
of times before I hit him.
8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
9. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
10. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way
home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up
obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.
11. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep
at the wheel and had the accident.
12. I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when
my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
13. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly
appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared
before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
14. To avoid hitting the front bumper of the car in front, I
struck the pedestrian.
15. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
16. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and
17. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my
hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
18. I was sure that the old fellow would never make it to the
other side of the roadway when I struck him.
19. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I
ran over him.
20. I saw the slow moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced
off the hood of my car.
(From "Beacon," the Boston area Mensa publication,
via "Tribal Table," Oklahoma, and "Mind," Indiana.)
The following quotes taken from the Toronto News on July 26, 1977, are actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible.
Such instances of faulty writ- ing serve to confirm that incompetency can be highly entertaining ....
Many have experienced the confusion of traffic accidents and have had to summerize correctly what happened in a few words or less on insurance or accident forms.
The following quotes were taken >From those forms and were eventually published in the Toronto Sun Paper....
The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of the accidents in the fewest words.
These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining....
Yrneh Etac IV - No such process --------------- (novax!
owhere!etac4) OR (etac4@nowhere) I dread success....
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Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
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