Humor, Pedestrian And Otherwise Confused By Traffic Accidents?

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Humor, pedestrian and otherwise

Confused by traffic accidents?
The following are excerpts from a Toronto insurance company's
records of drivers' descriptions of their experiences:

1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided
with a tree I don't have.

2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of
its intentions.

3. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I
put my hand through it.

4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

7. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number
of times before I hit him.

8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

9. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

10. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way
home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up
obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.

11. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep
at the wheel and had the accident.

12. I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when
my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

13. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly
appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared
before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

14. To avoid hitting the front bumper of the car in front, I
struck the pedestrian.

15. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

16. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and

17. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my
hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

18. I was sure that the old fellow would never make it to the
other side of the roadway when I struck him.

19. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I
ran over him.

20. I saw the slow moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced
off the hood of my car.

(From "Beacon," the Boston area Mensa publication,
via "Tribal Table," Oklahoma, and "Mind," Indiana.)