Related:

• I'll call you later.
• Here are some of my favorite jokes from the HBO special Jackie Mason On Broadway.
  Keep in mind that Jackie is a former rabbi. His father and two brothers are also rabbis....
• Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so.
  Hang up....
• What do you call a drunk with no arms or legs wrapped around a telephone pole? Curly.
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• Because I'm A Man... ** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
  ** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at....
• Spoken in a granny voice) "Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine.
  You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home....
• When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
• There was this young boy coming of age and his father wanted to show him the facts of life.
  So he gave him 20 bucks and sent him down to the local brothel to have a good time....