The Top 15 Signs You're Not Ready for Summer 15> Still trying to untangle the Christmas lights from the Weedwhacker.

The Top 15 Signs You're Not Ready for Summer

15> Still trying to untangle the Christmas lights from the
Weedwhacker.

14> The pool boy shows up with a backhoe.

13> Putting on last year's bathing suit requires Vaseline and a
shoe horn.

12> Used all your bikini wax to polish your hardwood floors during
the winter.

11> It's springtime and you're still planting gloves.

10> Your new batch of ads featuring a pierced Joe Camel on a
surfboard are three weeks behind schedule.

9> Your belly has more rolls than Sara Lee, and besides, you're
still hungover from spring break.

8> You refuse to visit any beach not personally guarded by David
Hasselhoff.

7> You're so white, even the Boston Celtics refuse you.

6> Vacation plans include a ValueJet flight to a Club Med Zaire.

5> Recent guilty verdict on all 11 counts means you can kiss that
Summer Patriot Training Camp trip goodbye.

4> Without flood relief from slow-ass Congress, you're still
*living* in your bass boat.

3> Despite therapy, you're still not prepared for the coming
endless airplay of "Kokomo."

2> The sun's reflection off your phosphorescent white skin
actually damaged one of Mir's solar panels.


and the Number 1 Sign You're Not Ready for Summer...


1> Still confusing the George Clooney Batman with the
Val Kilmer Batman.


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