DOS Users Anonymous
DOS Users Anonymous is a new 12-step group, patterned
after the 12 steps for recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous,
Overeaters Anonymous, Al-Anon Family Groups, etc.
The heart of the DOS Users Anonymous suggested program of
personal recovery is contained in our Twelve Steps for Recovery.
These steps describe the experience of the earliest recovering DOS users:
1. We admitted we were powerless over upgrades -- that our
computers had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves --
Microsoft -- could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to
the care of Bill Gates as we understood Him.
4. We made a searching and fearless Defrag and Scandisk
of our hard drive.
5. We admitted to Bill Gates, to ourselves and to our list server
the exact version of our current operating system.
6. We were entirely ready to have Windows 95, Windows NT
or Windows 98 remove all these accustomed benefits of
convenience, reliability and productivity.
7. We humbly asked him to remove our current operating
system's simplicity.
8. We made a list of all files (hidden or system) we had
accidentally deleted and became willing to commit to
Windows 95's recycling feature.
9. We made direct payments to Microsoft or its agents
wherever possible, except when to do so would require
us to use MSN, the Microsoft Network.
10. We continued to struggle with the Windows 95
installation program and, when we were finally out of time
and patience, promptly admitted it to Microsoft product support.
11. We sought through the Microsoft home page to improve
our conscious contact with Bill Gates as we understood Him,
asking only for knowledge of His will for us and the needed
software to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these
steps, we tried to carry this message to disabled DOS users
everywhere and to use Windows NT or Windows 95 (or higher)
applications in all our computing.
Newcomers are not obligated or required to accept or follow
these Twelve Steps in their entirety if they feel unable or
unwilling to do so.
Copyright (c) DOS Users Anonymous, 1997
The name DOS Users Anonymous is a trademark and
service mark of DOS Users Anonymous, and may only
be used with permission in writing or by email.
To subscribe to this list, send e-mail to: MAJORDOMO@why-not.com
with the following command in the body of your email message:
subscribe computer-jokes
DOS Users Anonymous is a new 12-step group, patterned
after the 12 steps for recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous,
Overeaters Anonymous, Al-Anon Family Groups, etc.
The heart of the DOS Users Anonymous suggested program of
personal recovery is contained in our Twelve Steps for Recovery.
These steps describe the experience of the earliest recovering DOS users:
1. We admitted we were powerless over upgrades -- that our
computers had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves --
Microsoft -- could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to
the care of Bill Gates as we understood Him.
4. We made a searching and fearless Defrag and Scandisk
of our hard drive.
5. We admitted to Bill Gates, to ourselves and to our list server
the exact version of our current operating system.
6. We were entirely ready to have Windows 95, Windows NT
or Windows 98 remove all these accustomed benefits of
convenience, reliability and productivity.
7. We humbly asked him to remove our current operating
system's simplicity.
8. We made a list of all files (hidden or system) we had
accidentally deleted and became willing to commit to
Windows 95's recycling feature.
9. We made direct payments to Microsoft or its agents
wherever possible, except when to do so would require
us to use MSN, the Microsoft Network.
10. We continued to struggle with the Windows 95
installation program and, when we were finally out of time
and patience, promptly admitted it to Microsoft product support.
11. We sought through the Microsoft home page to improve
our conscious contact with Bill Gates as we understood Him,
asking only for knowledge of His will for us and the needed
software to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these
steps, we tried to carry this message to disabled DOS users
everywhere and to use Windows NT or Windows 95 (or higher)
applications in all our computing.
Newcomers are not obligated or required to accept or follow
these Twelve Steps in their entirety if they feel unable or
unwilling to do so.
Copyright (c) DOS Users Anonymous, 1997
The name DOS Users Anonymous is a trademark and
service mark of DOS Users Anonymous, and may only
be used with permission in writing or by email.
To subscribe to this list, send e-mail to: MAJORDOMO@why-not.com
with the following command in the body of your email message:
subscribe computer-jokes
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