The Top 19 Signs Your Psychic Is a Phony
19> Keeps shaking black "crystal ball," then saying, "Ask again
later."
18> Tells you you're going to die but doesn't exactly know when
or how.
17> Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"
16> Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last
week.
15> Brunswick insignia on "crystal ball."
14> His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream
and women's clothing.
13> Instead of a Oujia board, has a Wedgie board.
12> During seance, shouts in voice of Wolfman Jack, "Milli Vanilli
will be back!"
11> His spoon bending requires two pliers.
10> Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes.'"
9> During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."
8> Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."
7> Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just
above your mom.
6> Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.
5> Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.
4> Easily fooled by 'Can of Snakes' gag.
3> Sonics in 4.
2> "Ethereal Aroma of the Kindred Spirits" effect during seance
only occurs after a chili-dog lunch.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Psychic Is a Phony...
1> Just keeps saying in his Mr. T voice, "My prediction: Pain!"
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com
19> Keeps shaking black "crystal ball," then saying, "Ask again
later."
18> Tells you you're going to die but doesn't exactly know when
or how.
17> Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"
16> Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last
week.
15> Brunswick insignia on "crystal ball."
14> His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream
and women's clothing.
13> Instead of a Oujia board, has a Wedgie board.
12> During seance, shouts in voice of Wolfman Jack, "Milli Vanilli
will be back!"
11> His spoon bending requires two pliers.
10> Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes.'"
9> During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."
8> Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."
7> Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just
above your mom.
6> Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.
5> Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.
4> Easily fooled by 'Can of Snakes' gag.
3> Sonics in 4.
2> "Ethereal Aroma of the Kindred Spirits" effect during seance
only occurs after a chili-dog lunch.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Psychic Is a Phony...
1> Just keeps saying in his Mr. T voice, "My prediction: Pain!"
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com
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You might find a better price elsewhere -- but don't let me catch you doing it, pal!...
