Signs Your Driving School Instructor Is Nuts 16> Claims "road Rage" Was His Idea.

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Signs Your Driving School Instructor is Nuts

16> Claims "road rage" was his idea.

15> Touch his dashboard Jesus? Ride home in the trunk.

14> Makes you stop at every fire hydrant so he can relieve himself.

13> She conducts lane change practice in her Jacuzzi.

12> Conducts the first week's lessons in two chairs using imaginary
driving motions and engine sounds.

11> Insists on sitting in back seat & being called "Miss Daisy."

10> Keeps stopping in the middle of your lesson to deliver pizzas.

9> Fails you unless you can get the airbag to pop.

8> Instead of emergency brakes on his side of the car, he has a
passenger-side accelerator and a mini bar stocked with Wild
Turkey and Ho Ho's.

7> Has "P - R - D - 2 - 1" painted on his fly and keeps yelling,

6> Has a working saw blade on the hood and mutters about "fixing
Speed Racer for good".

5> Immediately fails you because his Carmen Miranda-style hat
doesn't fit in your Escort.

4> Day One: "Chinese Fire Drills", "Basic Mooning Techniques"
and "Reloading a 9mm at 90 mph."

3> Always divides class into "shirts" and "skins."

2> When he yells "England," you're supposed to start driving on
the other side of the road.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Driving School Instructor is Nuts...

1> Insists you turn off the headlights and "use the Force."

This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
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