Related:

• Try to talk while drinking something.
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes.
  Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work....
• Why do JAP's close their eyes while they're fucking? So they can pretend they're shopping.
• Don't talk to me while I'm interrupting.
• 100 reasons why it's great to be a girl 1. free dinners 2.
  free lunches 3. free brunches 4. free movies (you get the point) 5....
• I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
• There was a young man from Peru, who fell asleep in his canoe, while dreaming of Venus, he played with his penis and woke up covered in goo.
• Just pretend it's a VAX.