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• THE BIG PIG Received the following communication from Poor Innocent Guy Asa of Montgomery, Alabama
  These should come in handy at work or when frequenting a doctor's office...
• First Date Advice Things Not To Say On A First Date
  1. "This is my apartment, but don't break anything, or you'll have to pay for it....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• Sorry to change the subject a little, but this priceless little anecdote occurred while I was working for a hardware store while in college.
  I'm standing behind the counter, wearing my little scratchy polyester uniform shirt, and this big huge guy walks up to me carrying two rolls of shelf paper and says "Is this going to be enough to cover my shelves?...
• This truck driver sits down in a diner and orders dinner.
  When the waitress brings his plate, he notices that she has got her thumb in his mashed potatoes....
• There were two young brothers talking in their backyard waiting for their mother to make them lunch.
  One is four the other is three. 4: "I'm getting pretty old now, I think I can start cussing....
• Having just finished his meal, the restaraunt customer was eagerly looking forward to enjoying a good cup of coffee before he left.
  As the waiter returned from the kitchen, the customer noticed that the waiter was holding the cup in such a way that his thumb curled over the rim of the cup and was actually submerged in the brew....
• Cover one of the walls with polaroids of fire hydrants from all over the city.
  Tell your roommate that you think that you were a dog in a former life....
• From toddm@tekig5.PEN.TEK.COM Thu Jan 19 05:30:05 1989 Flag
  000000000000 From: toddm@tekig5.PEN.TEK.COM (Todd Mount PO Box 500) Subjec...